Sunday, May 31, 2009
when the going gets tough,
the
natalia needs to break that bad habit. it seems like getting online has become a form of relieving stress? den again, it's not. she's juz trying to eliminate that which iz making her stressed by totally avoiding it and ending up feeling even more stressed because of the time she wasted on the internet. that is negative feedback, reinforcement of the wrong thing. totally not good.
anyway, back from church this morning.
a thought occured to me this morning.
there is this one guy whom i'm particularly cautious of because of his character and "style". well, i'm acquainted to him and that's something sometimes i wish i could deny. there were times this guy hurt me really bad by the words he said, even if he intended for it to be a joke, which obviously isnt and it's really cutting. but anyway, i noticed that in church, after pastor preaches a message, there is always an altar call for some issues and challenges. and during these altar calls, i keep seeing this guy at the altar call ALL THE TIME regardless of whatever. and most of the time, the altar call revolves around the same/similar issue.
it did occur to me, why does this guy keep responding?
yes, it's a good thing to respond, dun get me wrong.
but.. the thing is that ever after responding, there doesnt seem to be any change or decision made to better himself in whatever sense. even though i still cant stand the fact that he kept responding and expecting that a prayer will work his life 180deg around. where's the effort in it?! it's intriguing..
so yeah, i drew a conclusion..
that responding to a call is entirely a different issue as with carrying out according to the call.
it's one thing to say yes, and another thing to do yes.
it's like it's one thing to be awakened, and another thing to stay awake. it's like it's one thing to be pointed out a weakness, and it's another thing to want to do something about it. i guess we should always want to do something about something we have in mind for. and not procrasinate. like studying.
and so i'm going back to study.
cuz it's one thing to say i want to study
and an entirely different thing to be actually studying.
*throbs @11:43 <3
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